日々の生活 - Hibi no Seikatsu

Happy Birthday, Little Sister

2011-10-19T13:12:00.001-06:00

Today is my sister’s birthday. She might be older, but she’ll always be my little sister. She’s all the way in Hawaii, so I can’t go over and wake her up at 2 in the morning and shout, “Happy Birthday!”. I’m sure Moze will do that for me.

Look how cute we used to be! My mom loves emphasizing the “used to be” before quickly correcting herself.

My sister and I are five and a half years apart. Far enough apart that most of my later childhood felt like I was an only child. Close enough that we fought just as much as any loving brother and sister would.

I have lots of memories of the two of us as kids. Her babysitting me, us watching Raiders of the Lost Ark, then her pretending to be dead after the movie was over. Then I came up with a brilliant plan to pretend to call 911, which quickly brought her back to the land of the living.

I remember feeding some horses down in Southern Utah and being terrified as they chased us after realizing we had nothing more to give them. Those horses were hungry, and they were just fine with eating some little kids. I blame that event on my distrust and loathing of horses. Although they are delicious. They should have finished us off when they had the chance.

After she moved to Hawaii our relationship definitely got better. I would attribute this to me growing older and maturing, but we both know it was actually her doing that exact thing. I think us having our own space to live and grow helped. I’m sure she was glad to not have me bugging her all the time, or attacking her boyfriends with Nerf guns with my friends.

Over the last few years, she’s always been there when I’ve needed someone to talk to. She’s done an amazing job on her blog. Most of the time when I couldn’t figure out what to make for dinner, a quick scan of the recipes there, and soon we had a great meal. Thanks to her, and my parents, I’ve developed a healthier relationship with food than most people my age. Although, out of our family, I’m definitely the least adventurous and most picky. All of my friends who see her blog are impressed with the things she comes up with. I think it intimidates a lot of the girls I’ve dated and been with, especially now that my mom also has a pretty serious food blog. I suppose I’ll have to marry someone who loves food as much as my family does.

I got a chance to visit my sister this last summer after I moved back to Oregon, which was a great opportunity. It was the first time in a long time that we got some 1 on 1 time and she was always there to listen to me. We ate lots of food, took walks to Foodland, went on hikes, and plenty of trips to the beach. That trip will be one of my favorite trips to Hawaii for years to come. So thanks for letting me come bug you, eat your food, and listen to me complain.

I think this year, she did the nicest thing she’s ever done for me. She came all the way to Utah. UTAH! Do you know how much she doesn’t like Utah? I can tell you, it’s a lot. But she did. Once she heard about the divorce, it was one of the first things she decided to do. That helped a lot, knowing that she cared enough about me to drop everything and come make sure I was alright. She’s always been there for me, and I know she’ll continue to be there when I need her. Thanks for everything, and happy birthday.

PS. Don’t worry, you’ll get a real present in the mail, once I get it all together.

Japan–The People I Love

2011-09-13T15:23:00.001-06:00

Recently my dad and I went to Japan for a few weeks. It was awesome. Lots of pictures and blog posts to come, but I just wanted to get these up.

While we were there, we managed to meet up with a lot of old friends and family. Many were people I had met on my mission and served with, other’s were friends from BYU and other places. Within Japan there are so many people who are close to my heart. This is just a few of those people.

I got to meet up with Elder Stevenson and Sister Stevenson in Tokyo before heading off to Iwate

Ai came up from Ishigaki to go to the temple and we managed to meet up and hang out for a day. We started dating the next week, too bad we only had the one day.

We went to Kawanishi and spent one of the days with some of my old English Class students. Here is Miho and Yuika (AKA Suika)

Kumiko also came! It was fun to see everyone.

On Sunday we went to the Hanayashiki Ward for church. Tamura Shimai was sick, but she was nice enough to let us come visit. She ended up cooking us a huge meal, even though she closed her restaurant this year. It was so fun seeing them again.

Iwaki Shimai made sure that I met everyone that I wanted to. She drove us around, and we visited Sho-kun and his family. They really helped me out and treated me like family when I was in Hanayashiki.

At the last minute, I was able to visit with Oto Shimai. At first she didn’t remember me, but when we started talking she started to remember. It was great hearing about her conversion and finding out she was connected to such an early part of the church in Japan.

In Nagoya, we met up with some of my mom’s extended family. Tatsumi-Ojisan and his wife took us to dinner. I met them a few times when I was in Japan during my mission, and she treats me like a son. Sometimes, to an embarrassing degree.

In Kyoto, we managed to meet up with lots of old friends. Henry and Mikki invited us over to their house for dinner. They were some of my closest friends in Fushimi, and it had been far too long since I had been able to see them. With good friends, it’s always nice to see them and have it be like no time has passed.

Fushiki Shimai was also a member who I was so happy to see. She took us to lunch, and it was funny to have a normal conversation and see her laugh. She is like a grandmother to me.

Despite almost dying of some sickness, Naoto-kun managed to meet up with us. I was worried we wouldn’t be able to see each other since he was so busy, but it worked out. I was surprised at how stylish of a dresser he is outside of church.

Ah, Fushimi Ward. Some of my favorite people in all of Japan. I was a little bit shocked at how much they remembered, and how glad they were to see me. It was just like coming home. Hishii Family, Kinoshita Shimai, thanks for everything.

Japanese Gardens

2011-08-17T11:11:00.005-06:00

Here are some pictures taken at the Japanese Gardens in Portland. The Rose Garden is also right next door, so we took a peek in there as well.

Dreams will be Dreams

2011-07-15T10:59:00.001-06:00

When I was younger, I used to sleep walk. A lot. So much so that it really freaked out my parents. Once I even managed to make it half way up the street before my dad ran out and caught me. I never would remember any of this happening until I came downstairs for breakfast and my mom would give me that look, and ask, “Do you know what you did last night?”

I’d get embarrassed, knowing that I had obviously done SOMETHING in my sleep, then she’d tell me and I’d be slightly creeped out. I mean, I was walking around doing things, often talking to my dad, all without any knowledge or control over my actions. Good thing I don’t do that anymore. At least, not that I know of.

Something that still happens every so often are waking dreams. There are two different versions that I’ll have, but both are pretty horrible. I can only really remember a few images from them the next morning, but I always remember how I feel. Terrible. Basically I’m awake, but still dreaming so I’m seeing hallucinations of my dreams and can’t wake up from them. They’re pretty bad, but usually limited to once or twice a year.

Despite all these things that happen to me while I’m sleeping, I do have pretty awesome dreams. Lately I’ve been trying to be better about writing them down in my dream journal I keep by my bed, but getting up at 5:30 most morning to play basketball doesn’t really help.

For a while on my mission in Japan I wrote down every dream that I had. After about a week or so I started to remember more and more of my dreams each night. Sometimes I would go back and read what I had written the previous day, and I couldn’t even remember writing down the dream, let alone remember the dream.

When I was married, I would tell Amanda about my dreams when we woke up in the morning. After a while she started to notice that I had a lot of dreams about zombies and fighting. I think she worried about me, but those were some of my favorite dreams.

Zombies are awesome.

Sadly, I never have flying dreams or dreams where I know I’m dreaming and can control it. Luckily, I also have never had falling dreams or dreams where my teeth fall out. I do have a lot of dreams where I move in slow motion. Especially when I’m trying to run away or to punch someone.

Here are a few of my favorite dreams from the last few years.

"I tried to call my friend, but the guy who answered said that I didn’t need to talk to her. So I dressed up as a girl to get a job as a cook in order to sneak into her work.”

“I was walking around this mall with my sister, and I was carrying around this fake gun that I had to return. It was getting close to closing time so we were trying to hurry. The store was on top of this mountain that we had to climb up, but the ground was like a trampoline, making it really hard to climb.”

“Was an FBI agent working with Booth and Bones. My teacher, Jack Stoneman, had a stalker.”

“Emily and I were hanging out and this guy who wanted to date her came up and started getting in an argument with me. She threw this huge party that night, and she had this hair that was shaped like a water fountain, with water in it that actually shot out the top and filled the bowl of hair. He hid some rubber balls in the fountain hair, and I knew that if he hit them with me then I’d die, so I dodged those. She got mad at him and kicked him out. Later he showed up at the apartment and we ended up bare-knuckle boxing and I knocked him out.”

I kid you not, that happened.

And my favorite dream I had recorded in my journal.

“Was Batman”

What are your favorite dreams? What do you dream about most often?

Masa Magic

2011-07-08T18:07:00.001-06:00

Alright guys, I’m just posting a plug for my tumblr. You can get there by visiting the link above, or just go to masamagic.tumblr.com If you have a tumblr, feel free to follow me and I’ll return the favor. During the week I’ll at least post a video, song, and picture of the day. Most of the time I’ll post things I randomly find when my queue is too long.

Also, people might wonder where the Masa comes from. Masayuki is my middle name, and while I was in Japan, as a service for the Japanese people who couldn’t ever remember my first or last name, I used my middle name Masayuki. That usually got shortened to Masa, and so it stuck.

Pre

2011-07-01T12:25:00.001-06:00

"To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the Gift." – Steve Prefontaine

For those of you who have known me for a while, you should know that I used to be big into running. Lately? Not so much. I am attempting to try and get back into the habit and get into shape. The key word is trying.

A few weeks ago I was running several times a week, I even had a day where I went 6 miles. Then I got lazy. I could blame it on getting LASIK, but I’m pretty sure I just wasn’t motivated enough. So I’ve attempted to repent and am starting fresh next week.

I ran cross country and track in high school, and if you Google my name almost all the results are different times I had at races around Oregon.

Last week one of my friends asked me to write up a quick email with tips and ideas for getting started to run. I thought it was going to be difficult to think of enough things to get her started, but as I started writing I quickly filled up a page. I’m sure it was more than she was wanting, but I thought I’d share it with everyone here.

Now this isn’t a complete list by any means, and I’m no professional when it comes to running. That being said, I have run my fair share of 5Ks and various track events. If you have any specific questions about running or something you wanted to know, or if you disagree with what I’m writing, hit me up.

And here we go.

1. Before even starting to train or run, make sure that you have some motivation or goal in mind. Don’t start just randomly working out just to work out, because if you’re anything like me that means you’ll never really get started and 2 months go by and you realize that you’re too lazy to regularly work out. We’re not talking about me though, this is about you. GET EXCITED! You should want to do this. Maybe you don’t specifically want to run or work out, but maybe you want to lose some weight, maybe you just want to get in better shape, maybe you even want to run a marathon. If you’re that last one, you’re crazy.

2. Get some good running shoes (if running is what you want to do) If not, make sure you have some decent shoes made for what you’re doing. The worst thing you can do for your knees, feet, back, and body in general is to run in shoes that are either too old or not made for running. It drives me crazy when I see people trying to run in shoes that will ultimately destroy them.

Until you know what kind of shoes you like to run in or that feel good, don’t hesitate to go to a running store and talk to the employees there and try on a bunch of different styles and pairs of shoes. Most good running stores will have someone who knows what they are doing when it comes to recommending shoes. They’ll be able to tell if you pronate or supinate. Maybe you’re even lucky enough not to do either.

3. At the beginning expect to be slow and to be sore. It takes about 2 weeks of working out to get into shape to the point that you feel relatively comfortable.

Now with that being said, you will still get sore from time to time, especially after long/hard runs and work outs. That’s normal.

4. You should know your body better than anyone, so hopefully you can tell the difference between soreness and injury.

Some things shouldn’t be, and probably can’t be, run through. I’ve been lucky enough until recently to have no knee problems, but when I started playing basketball and running again it’s started to hurt in a way that I knew wasn’t just something that would go away, so I got a knee brace to run in and it’s helped.

If you have something you’re worried about, visiting a doctor might not be a bad idea. Better safe than sorry.

5. Set aside time for working out and be consistent. If you want to work out at night, make sure you have that block of time set aside so that you can do it.

Consistency is important. It gets easier the more you do it.

Also, running at 4 in the afternoon is probably the worst time to run during the summer. It’s the hottest point of the day, so if you’re in a place like Utah or Arizona, go when it’s not so hot.

6. Find a good pace for running. You want to run at a pace that you can still speak, but you aren’t able to have a flowing conversation. If you are having a hard time even talking to a person that you would be running with, slow it down a little. It’s important not to try to do too much too fast, that’s an easy way to get an injury.

7. Doing a warm up jog and then stretching is the best way to do it. From what I’ve researched, stretching before you’ve even done anything doesn’t really do much. Make sure your body is warmed up and then stretch. When you finish, do a cool down jog. Stretching after a workout is a great idea as well, if you have the time.

8. Walking during a run is better than stopping. If you’re in pain or need a minute to catch your breath, don’t feel bad about walking. Just don’t stop and stand there. Or lay down. Keep moving.

Also when finishing a run, it’s better to gradually slow down than to just stop immediately. If you want to push it to the end of your run then jog a little extra to end it, that’s fine.

9. Your form when you run should be natural. Don’t do the “farmer run” by swinging your arms across your chest. They should be at about a 90-degree angle and should stay that way. It’s hard to explain without seeing, but check this out for a good guide.

10. Make sure you’re drinking water throughout the day, also after working out and during even you’ll want to make sure you get some Gatorade or a sports drink to get your electrolytes back. Water is great, but it doesn’t do everything.

11. For strength exercises, do things like sit ups, push-ups, side planks. Make sure to work out your lower back by doing reverse sit ups and reverse crunches.

12. Here's the official Runner's World beginning-running program. It will get you to 20 minutes of easy running in just 10 weeks.

Remember: You must repeat the basic workout three to four times per week.
If you're starting from a low fitness level, we recommend you begin with several weeks of walking for 20 to 30 minutes at a time before attempting Week 1. Also, if you have not exercised for a long time, are overweight, or have existing or family health problems, see your physician before you begin this program.

Week	Run	Walk	Repeat	Total Time
1	1 min	2 min	7x	21 min
2	1 min	1 min	10x	20 min
3	2 min	1 min	7x	21 min
4	3 min	1 min	5x	20 min
5	4 min	1 min	4x	20 min
6	6 min	1 min	3x	21 min
7	9 min	1 min	2x	20 min
8	12 min	1 min	Then run 7 min	20 min
9	15 min	1 min	Then run 4 min	20 min
10	20 min	Leap for joy		20 min

13. I’m not the biggest fan of the above thing, but if you haven’t really done anything for a while, it can be a great start. Like I said before, you should know your body better than I do.

14. What I might suggest doing is something like running 3-4 times a week. 20 mins, 35 mins, 20 mins, 25 mins. Just at an easy pace. Once you’ve gotten comfortable you can increase the times and intensities, but the goal is just getting out there and doing something.

This is kind of what I could think of off the top of my head. Nike and Runners World have some great tools you can use to set up a training schedule as well. I use Nike+ because you can create a custom schedule, depending on what you’re training for and your level.

A great way to set a goal is to sign up for a race. I’m planning on doing this race in September for those of you who want to join in or who want to come watch. Should be exciting.

Music Dump Monday - Week 2

2011-06-27T11:43:00.003-06:00

A normal post should be up sometime in the next few days

Music Dump Monday

2011-06-20T11:00:00.004-06:00

Song starts at the 2:00 mark

Father’s Day (Con’t)

2011-06-19T17:25:00.001-06:00

Found these pictures, couldn’t resist.

Happy Father’s Day

Father’s Day

2011-06-19T15:38:00.001-06:00

I am lucky to have had such a great dad. As I’ve been home the last few months, I’ve realized how much he’s done for our family. Since I can remember he’s always worked hard at whatever job he’s had, always wanting to make sure our family had enough. Despite how hard he worked he always had time for family and was always there at different sporting events I had, band concerts, and church activities.

He has always been a great example to me. The way he talked about his mission and how important the church is to him was a great help to me when I was in Japan.

It’s always nice to be able to talk to him about my experiences there and to know he understands. One of my favorite memories as a missionary was being able to teach a lesson with him in Nagoya.

With everything that’s happened in the last few months, he’s been a great source of strength and always makes sure I know he’s there.

I know I haven’t always been the best son, but I’ll consider myself lucky if I can be half the dad that he has been. I already know he’s a great grandpa, so my future family is lucky.

Love you, Pops.

For Your Information

2011-06-14T14:25:00.001-06:00

I have a lot of free time lately. It’s mainly split between school, exercise, family and surfing the internet/listening to music. Over the next few posts I’ll focus on those, starting with surfing the internet. Here are some of my favorite blogs/websites/random videos.

Blogs

Nippon Nin – This is my mom’s food blog. Great stuff on here, most of which I’ve been lucky enough to have tried. It’s not all Japanese food, but a lot of it definitely has an Asian influence. You guys should all follow her, since along with great recipes there are a lot of great pictures. My dad should get credit for all his hard work on the blog as well.

The Little Foodie – My sister’s food blog focusing on helping her kids develop a healthy relationship with food. Lots of great pictures and recipes here as well. If you guys like good food then check out these two blogs.

Kitchen Corners – A food blog by my sister’s friend Damaris. Lots of great food, giveaways, and new kitchen gadgets.

Notes From a Very Red Kitchen – These next few might be more geared towards the ladies in the audience, but this is a blog run by my good friend Katie. A good mix of posts about their family life and lots of crafty things. She even has an etsy shop that apparently is on vacation for the time being.

Emily K Designs – A mix of a fashion blog, vintage pictures, and crafty things. Music Monday and Awkward and Awesome Thursday are the best. I mean, Personally, I’m not really into women’s fashion all that much, but she’s got some good stuff on there and the ladies need to know how to dress.

Kristine or Polly – My friend Matt Biggs married Kristine, and she has a really good fashion blog. They live in Japan now and they have great stories and pictures from their adventures there.

Hyperbole and a Half – One of my favorite blogs to read. Funny stories with even better pictures. Check it out.

Websites

Uncrate – Updated several times a day, this is a website mainly for guys. They show new items that most guys would want to own. Everything from clothes to hoverbikes.

The Daily What – A great mix of up-to-date news, random videos from the interwebz, and funny pictures.

Gizmodo – Tech news and daily deals from around the web. Good source of info even for those who are not as tech-savvy.

Tripsnowman – A tumblr that Scott, Lincoln, Zach and I post videos from around the web that we find. Everything from He-Man singing to Yoga for your face. (While I’m here, I also have my own tumblr that I’ve started songs of the day and pictures of the day)

Videos

Here are 3 of the best videos I could think of in 30 seconds or less.

Keyboard Cat will always be my favorite. What are your favorite blogs/websites/videos?

The Art of Food

2011-06-09T17:00:00.001-06:00

If you know my family at all, you know that we are a family of foodies. My sister has a great food blog, so does my mom, and I’m still waiting for my dad to start his own.

Coming back home has made me appreciate good food again. They make a lot of food from scratch, even the bread. Lots of things are getting planted in the garden, and my mom is always in search of her next blog post. I’m just glad I get a chance to be a taste tester for it.

Growing up in a multi-cultural home,we ate a variety of foods. We had the normal things like casserole, spaghetti, and pizza. We also had a lot of things that I thought were normal like curry, sushi, and okonomiyaki. It wasn’t until I’d have dinner at other people’s houses that I’d realize how different our family was.

I mean, come on, dried seaweed was a normal snack for me.

My parents were often trying new recipes they had found. My dad also loved to experiment. Saturday morning breakfast seemed to be his favorite. We would usually start eating, and he would look around the table to see our reaction. Eventually we’d realize that he had done something to the pancakes or waffles, but would wait for our verdict on whether it was good or bad before letting us know what he had changed or added. Most of the time it was good, sometimes just “different”, but there are a few times that I clearly remember as being bad. Bad enough that even he couldn’t bring himself to finish his plate.

It’s been a huge blessing in my life to have had parents who were so willing to try new things and to teach us kids about what good food really is.

That’s not to say that I didn’t hate it at times when I was younger. I

I was a picky eater. If I heard that we were having mabo dofu for dinner, I would make myself a sandwich. There was no way I was going to eat those peas. Still can’t do it. And it wasn’t until I went to Japan that I realized I loved mabo dofu and that no one else I’ve met puts peas in them.

My sister still loves to point out the fact that I never finish a meal. Which I still argue against. I eat until I’m at the point that I’m satisfied. To me, nothing is worse than that feeling of over-eating. I eat in small bursts. All the time. I think that bugs the heck out of her. She’ll just have to let me move in with her when she gets a house then she can be my personal eating trainer.

While the whole family was in Hawaii, we had some amazing stuff to eat. Good company makes good food even better.

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

2011-06-05T18:39:00.002-06:00

While I was in Hawaii last week with my sister I started to think about, and feel guilty about the lack of attention I give my blog. I used to write every few months, usually whenever someone would bug me about the lack of updates. I would get a renewed sense of purpose, imagining great posts I could write up and become an internet sensation.

Ten minutes later I would forget about all of that while watching Keyboard Cat on YouTube. Mariko is great about blogging. It also helps she has an amazing food blog. I think it's easier to come up with new recipes than to just write about your own life, especially when most of the time nothing exciting really happens. I guess the key to blogging is trying to find interesting ways to talk about every day life. You just need to portray it the right way. And not ramble too much.

<ahem>

I started to wonder when it was that I last posted something and saw that it was a little less than a year ago, right after I got back Hawaii.

Strange coincidence, eh? Perhaps Hawaii just gives me the energy I need to be able to come up with a post.

I started to think back to that trip we took. We came to visit Mariko and Mozely, get away from Utah, and eat amazing food.

It was a nice escape before everything would get busy with school and work and married life.

This vacation provided a slightly different escape. Now I’m back and have what seems like all the time in the world.

I originally had no intentions of writing about everything that's happened in the last few months, and who knows, this post might never actually get published, but the more I thought about it, the better the idea seemed. Maybe it would help me find some closure (to some degree or another), maybe it would help other people understand, or maybe it was just something to help me reflect on everything that happened and gain some perspective.

So I'll just go ahead and put it out there.

Amanda and I aren't together anymore. The divorce papers were turned in in April. I'm back in Portland. Save the occasional single-sentence email, we haven't spoken since then. We were married just about two years.

I won't go into much detail about the whole thing. It basically came down to her feeling like this was what needed to happen. That she couldn't do it anymore, it had to end.

It wasn't something I did or didn't do; it was just how she felt.

Especially being LDS, how can you argue with someone who tells you that they've received an answer from God. You can't exactly tell them to go back and ask God again, just to make sure he didn't make a mistake.

I think that was the hardest part for me.

I was surprised at how everything happened. There wasn’t a huge fight with lamps being thrown across the room and it wasn’t me coming home to find the locks changed and my stuff on the front lawn. A relatively short conversation, and she was gone. I didn’t yell, didn’t break things, and didn’t suffer from insomnia for the next 2 weeks. It was surreal. I kept thinking that she would just come home one night after work and things would be back to normal.

I felt hurt, helpless, and for the first time in a long time, lonely. I had great support from friends and family but going to bed alone and waking up alone takes a lot of getting used to. There isn't that person to come home to and talk about your day with. When you're married, you always know that no matter what you always have someone to talk to and who wants to spend time with you. I wasn’t prepared for the sudden void in my life.

Amazingly enough, life still continues on. Homework still needs to be turned in and papers still need to be written. Work still needs you to come in and do your job with a smile.

For a while I felt like I was wearing a mask, that I wasn't being completely honest when people when they would ask how I was doing, how my wife was, and what the plans were for the future. This was especially hard when talking to people who I had just an occasional run-in with. I didn't want to burden people with the news of the divorce.

I was surprised at how differently friends reacted to the news. Some felt bad for not knowing, others just didn't know what to say, some even offered to fly to Utah and fight for my honor. But pretty much everyone said the same thing.

Let me know if there’s anything I can do.

My answer was always the same.

Thanks, if I think of anything I'll let you know.

The problem was that it wasn't something that could be fixed. I knew most, if not all, were sincerely offering to help, but I didn’t even know what to do or where to begin.

I decided that I wasn’t going to be able to stay in Utah past graduation. I put in my two weeks notice at work, talked to my advisor in the Japanese program at BYU, and started to wonder what I was going to do now. All the plans we had created in the last two years would never come to fruition. Instead I was moving back home. Alone.

That has been a humbling experience. Going from almost complete independence to feeling like I've gone back to high school. I am grateful that I have great parents that have let me come home, just wish it didn't have to happen.

I've spent a lot of time the last few months thinking about everything. It's hard to see when you're married and spending so much time with one person, but when you're not together anymore you realize that everything - EVERYTHING - reminds you of something the two of you did.

One morning while we were in Hawaii, my parents and I were planning on going out to eat for breakfast. We talked about Ted's Bakery, but my mom was worried that it would be painful for me to go there since Amanda and I had gone several times. Instead we went to Turtle Bay Resort and had breakfast there. On the way over, I realized that Turtle Bay was where Amanda and I had stayed for the first part of our trip last year. I had to laugh. After, I told my sister that if I stayed away from everything that reminded me of Amanda then I would have to just lay on the floor of an empty room face-down.

I'm sure there will be some things that I avoid, at least for a time. But really, I can’t let this take all the good things in life away from me. Especially Ted’s.

Divorce is never an easy thing to talk about. In the Mormon culture I feel that's especially true. That's not to say it doesn't happen, it’s one of those taboo subjects that is rarely discussed.

I can understand why people who get divorced can often feel uncomfortable at church, because I feel that way at times. You look around and see all the happy couples and families and wonder what happened.

There are a lot of people here that I consider family, and I'm grateful for their love and support. It's hard to explain exactly what it is, perhaps it's just the worry that some won't understand or will have the wrong idea. For those of you who have seen The Singles Ward, at least in my experience it’s spot on. It would be hard to keep motivated without great parents and friends who have made sure they're involved in my life.

Through this whole ordeal, I've never been angry with God or blamed him for the situation I'm in. Not to say I haven't wondered, "why me?" but the thought to get upset and leave the church just doesn't make sense. In fact, I think that without knowing that God was still there watching over me and having faith that eventually things will get better, it would be much harder to get up in the morning.

That's not to say that some days aren't hard just to motivate myself to do something more productive than watch YouTube videos all day.

Of course, some days are better than others. You think that everything is going to be just fine, then the next minute you just want to get back in bed, pull the covers over your head and wake up in three years when everything has worked out and life is perfect.

I know that my parents have worried about me a lot during the past few months. In some ways I think that this has been just as hard for them. They've been supportive of me throughout this whole ordeal, making sure I'm alright and have been a great pillar of strength.

My sister had also made sure to touch base on a regular basis, also making sure that I made it out to Hawaii. Despite how busy she is with her own life she took the time to make sure I was having fun and well fed. I'm sure when I start dating again my sister will be there to make sure she's up to snuff.

I'm grateful for the friends that have been there for me during this time, especially when I was still stuck in Utah. I'll forever be thankful for those who made sure I was fed, called to make sure I was doing alright, and for those who took time out of their busy schedules to spend some time with me. Also thanks to those in Portland who made sure I felt welcome and loved.

Just like in any bad situation, there are things that I've learned that will be a blessing in my life. I wish this had never happened, but I can't change it so I might as well learn something from it.

This gives me time to reflect on what kind of things I want in the future. What kind of girl I want to marry, what kind of person I need to be, and what things are really important.

Every day is a battle. Some days are easier to get up and face things, while others take a little bit of extra motivation.

I’m not really sure what happens now. I still have some online classes to take, then I suppose finding a job is in order. Eventually, I’m sure I’ll even find a nice girl who’ll be crazy about me. Hopefully not just crazy.

I feel good about the future. A little bit unsure about it,but I know that things will work out and there’s no rush. Everything will be good.

Breaking up is hard to do...

2010-08-29T12:02:00.004-06:00

Dear Utah,

I know that by now you've probably heard a lot of rumors and other things being said about me, and about where I've been for the last few weeks. I just wanted you to hear it from me so that we're both on the same page. Up front, I want to say that I've had a lot of fun with you these last few years, but we both knew this relationship wasn't meant to last. Don't get me wrong, you've got great mountains, white Christmases (although sometimes I could do with just a little less snow, especially when I'm driving on the freeway), and best of all, you've helped me meet a lot of great people. It's not you, its me. Really. I'm just a guy who likes the rain. I can't help it. Before meeting you, I was living in Oregon and Washington, it's what I grew up with.

For the last week I wasn't on a business trip. I was in Hawaii. And you know what? I loved it. I forgot how green nature can be. It doesn't have to be brown and dusty and dry. I don't have to put chap-stick on every 30 mins. And the ocean. MAN, the ocean! Do you even know what that's like to be near it? To be honest, sometimes it's been hard being with you, Utah. There aren't enough Asians here. There, I said it. Are you listening? There. Aren't. Enougn. ASIANS. I mean, you have some Japanese restraunts here and there, but how fresh can the fish really be. I mean, I know you try. Chao's and First Oriental Market are great and all, but I gave up Uwajimaya and Kinokunia just to be here. Do you know how hard that was? In Honolulu they had Shirokiya and Don Quijote. DON QUIJOTE! I haven't seen one of those since Osaka! I had fresh fish, fresh shrimp, wa-gyu beef, and takoyaki. You probably don't even know what that is do you? Sometimes I think we don't even know each other anymore.

Now I don't want this to be awkward. We're gonna have to live together at least till April, maybe even longer. So let's just try and be friends okay? Let's remember the good times we had. I'm sure we can still hang out, but let's not kid ourselves. I just can't pretend that I'll stay here forever. I respect you enough to tell you the truth. I just hope you don't hate me.

Sincerely,

Kegan

The Doctor is In

2010-04-13T15:05:00.003-06:00

I've been to the doctor twice in the last week. No, I don't have whooping cough (which apparently, is going around) nor have I been bitten by a monkey. No joke, there were two girls sitting near me that were both coughing a lot, I guess that's why they had to wear masks. I felt like I was back in Japan. I think the doctor is one of the few people that makes me feel like I'm 10 years old. That and my mission presidents when I was on my mission, but that was only a couple times. Here's a real conversation that I had with the doctor today:

Doctor: Does it itch?
Me: Yeah, but I've been trying hard not to scratch it.
Doctor: But it does feel good when you do...

I mean, I might be reading a little too much in to that, but I don't think the doctor believed me. I'll admit, I have been scratching it, but not nearly as much as I've wanted to. I mean, seriously, scratching an itch is the greatest feeling in the world. The only reason people don't just sit there and scratch forever is because we all think that if we do it's only going to make it a thousand times worse in the end. Rubbing your eyes falls under that category as well. Nothin' like a good eye scratch.

So I spent about 2 hours at the doctors office today. 10 minutes waiting after checking in, 5 minutes getting my heart rate, blood pressure and temperature taken care of, 5 minutes waiting for the doctor to come, 3 minutes talking to him, then almost an hour and a half waiting for lab results, and finally 2 minutes for him to look at the results (that were negative) and give me a prescription. Good thing I brought a book.

I guess I can't complain. It could've been worse. I could have deathitus or something. Hopefully I'll be able to avoid going to the doctor for the next few years. I think throwing up last month means I have at least 6 or 7 years before I'll need to throw up again. I'd like to thank my dad for bestowing this amazing immune system to me. Heck, I don't even know if I've had the flu in the last 10 years. (Knock on wood)

Dreams

2009-12-22T09:08:00.002-07:00

I love dreams. I'm not talking about goals or the kind of dreams that you have while you're sitting in Sacrament Meeting and the speaker is going on and on about how we need to be like the Kingsmen and rise up and destroy the government. (True story)I'm talking about dream dreams. The kind you have while you sleep. I LOVE THOSE. I usually remember at least one of the dreams I have per night. For example, last night I had a dream where I was at Costco with Amanda and my parents. I'm pretty sure it was the Costco in Kobe. Anyways, it was just opening and we went in to get some stuff. When we were leaving I ran into Lance, who was very excited to be getting a Hulk action figure set. Apparently there is a purple Hulk with blond hair. Lance liked that one better than the normal Hulk. ANYWAYS. (I just woke up, so this might be a little random) After that my parents and I were trying to order pizza from the food court. They finally got to my slice of pepperoni, and the lady plopped it on the plate, then proceeded to scrape off the cheese and sauce and push it to the side of the pizza. "Oh, that's probably okay..." was her response. It was most definitely NOT okay. I finally got a normal slice of pizza and we were on our way out, when I ran into Doni. She was pretty sad, cause her foreign boyfriend Ashley had just gone home for Christmas. We talked for a few minutes and I tried to cheer her up. I gave her a hug as I was leaving and she said, "Bye, Ashley". We laughed about it, and then I woke up to Amanda coming back in the room to get ready to go to work. I tried to explain the dream to her, but all she did was tease me for it and then left for work. Now I'm here writing this, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't make nearly as much sense and I had hoped.

Isn't that how dreams are though? They make so much sense to the person having it, but when you wake up and try to explain it, or when you really think about all the things that happened, it's insane. I never have had a dream where I've actually known it was a dream. I'm okay with that. Dreams are always exciting for me because I never know what's coming next. Zombies are a common occurrence in my dreams. I'm never scared of them, even when I'm running for my life. Amanda worries cause when I tell her about my dreams, she always says they're so intense. It's true, my dreams would make for great movies. I'm gonna try and start up my dream journal again this week. I'll let you know what happens.

A Kegan by any other name... Part Duex

2009-09-15T17:18:00.002-06:00

I just remembered.

When I was giving my last talk before going into the MTC the 1st counselor called me Brother Smith. After the talk he shook my hand and said that when he was announcing the speakers for the day he must have just been thinking about Joseph Smith too much. I guess that's a good thing.

At seminary graduation I got called Sister Kegan Spendlove. Meagan's dad told me it was because my hair was so long. Those were the days.

At a Youth Conference that was combined with Tualitain Stake, the lady handing out the name tags asked what my last name was. I told her, "Spendlove" and she started looking for it. She pulled out a tag, looked at it, looked at me and said, "Kegar? Is that your name?" She handed to to me and I played it cool and told her, "Yes, that's me" People in Wilsonville still call me Kegar.

So far today, 5 people have had issues trying to understand/correctly repeat back to me my own name.

A Kegan by any other name...

2009-09-15T00:04:00.003-06:00

The only time I hate my name, is when people can't understand it. This happens a lot at work. I always cringe when people ask me to repeat my name after I start the conversation. I also die a little inside when they ask 3 or 4 more times. I'd say about 30% of the time they just hear Keith and for some reason, those calls are always from the people who love to say my name. By the end of the conversation I'm almost convinced my parents made a mistake and my name really is Keith. Good thing they gave me a ID badge.

The most common mistake people make when trying to repeat my name back to me is - are you ready for this? - Kegjan. Pronounced Key-jyun. (Kinda like how back in the day people called Native Americans Injuns. I'm proud to share this with those fine people.) Asians are the most likely to make this mistake. I dealt with this all the time in Japan. "No no no, like... Key-gan... GAN... Come on people!" I love how after they figure it out they're all like, "Ooooooohhh... Key-GAN... Well why didn't you say that in the first place?" I love Japanese people, but I swear, if I didn't have a Japanese middle name... The worst is when people try and spell it. For some reason everyone is convinced it's spelled Keagan. I mean, it doesn't even sound like that! Key-a-gan? Come on people.

Although, to be fair, I once misspelled my first name in the MTC. I was getting my suit dry-cleaned and the girl working there asked for my first name. I was a bit taken back just because I hadn't had to use or even refer to it for the past 8 weeks. "Uh... My name? Kegan." "Is it k-e-g-e-n?" "Yes..." I didn't even realize I had done that until I sat back down at our table. Shameful.

I had a lady call in the other day, and she just have repeated my name back to me incorrectly 6 times. "What did you say your name is?" "Kegan" "Kejan?" "No, Kegan" (I even said it slowly and enunciated very clearly) "Keith?" "No, K-E-G-A-N Kegan" "Hahaha... okay..." Like I'm LYING AND MAKING UP A NAME! Goodness.

I hate when Asian people do that. I don't know how many times they call in and ask a question only to scoff in disbelief when I give them an answer. Hey, you called me, remember? You didn't know how to place an order on the internet, and just because you're not able to do it, doesn't mean that I'm not giving you the correct instructions. I swear, nothing could be harder than trying to explain how to use the internet to a 60+ year old Asian woman. (This is nothing against old people, Asians, or women. It just happens to be a potent combination against technology.)"You want to edit your monthly shipment? Just click on the "Edit ADR Products" button." "Should I press "Create New ADR"? "No... That would make it so you have multiple shipments going out each month." "Should I press "Edit Name?" "No... That would just edit the name of the shipment." "So I should press "Create New ADR?" "...Yes..."

I had a lady tell me that she was, "afraid of technology". True story. I blew my mind. Maybe she saw one too many sci-fi movies where technology is the downfall of the human race. Who knows, she could be right. Maybe I'll be running to her house when the robots come for me.

You know what I hate more than when people can't figure out my name? When people ask me to spell my last name and then after I spell it for them they spurt out "So just like it sounds?" Yes. Just like it sounds.

(My cross country coach used to love telling the cheerleaders when they were making signs for us in high school that my last name was Speedlove. True story. I had more than a few signs handed to me in class written in huge gold glitter-glue "SPEEDLOVE")

The Art of Art

2009-07-09T22:57:00.000-06:00

What is art? This is the question that led to a heated hour and a half debate in class last week. To be honest, I think that most people were cool and collected about the discussion, but it was clear that there were some strong opinions on the subject. While a few seemed to have very concrete ideas of what is and isn’t art, I came to the conclusion that almost anything could be considered art. Hearing the comments and seeing reactions of different classmates while touring around the MoA was a great example of this. Some people loved the Steinhilber exhibit while others thought it was far from being art. Some questioned the validity of the exhibit because he hadn’t actually been the one to physically create the pieces. I was impressed by the beauty of a lot of his pieces. Even if he hadn’t actually made them with his own hands, the ideas were pretty stunning. He had used mediums that most people wouldn’t consider usable. Duck sauce packets? Trash bags? Pure brilliance. It seems that throughout history the safest way to become noticed and popular is to copy and to imitate what is popular at that time. Now, there are always people “out there” on the edge. Fashion is the same way. In fact, everything is that way. Art has become a necessity in every part of our culture. The art of marketing is a multi-billion dollar industry. Something calling out to us to buy it, to eat it, to view it. If I’m not careful, I’ll begin to view everything as art, and perhaps it is in some broad sense. But let me refine that definition. Art is born when someone creates something unique that is meant to be enjoyed by themselves, someone else, or both parties. Alright, I admit it, it’s impossible for me to create a more specific definition than that. Anytime that I do I think of a thousand things that I think of as art that don’t fit the definition. I would consider a small child that draws a picture of a dinosaur using just 3 or 4 crayons an artist. On the other hand, I wouldn’t consider a person who just copies the Mona Lisa day in and day out an artist. There isn’t any creativity or uniqueness there. Poetry can be art. Music can be art. Literature, photographs, lights, houses, hair, clothing; all of those things can be art. In retrospect, I think that what makes something a work of art is whether or not it connects to a person. Tolstoy also believed the same and said as much: “Every work of art causes the receiver to enter into a certain kind of relationship both with him who produced, or is producing, the art, and with all those who, simultaneously, previously, or subsequently, receive the same artistic impression.” He gives the example of a boy telling a story about being afraid when he crossed paths with a wolf. Tolstoy says that the story would only be considered art if while telling the story to his friends, he again feels that same fear and causes those listening to relate and to feel what he himself felt. Perhaps this is the reason some students shake their heads with distain when looking upon the garbage bag monster spilling out of the garbage can or the endless rows of duck sauce stuck on the wall at the MoA. There isn’t any connection to the piece. It doesn’t make them feel anything. This makes me worry at times though, because of what people connect to and consider great works of art. Why would some people connect with duck sauce while others are just craving some Chinese food? What kind of connections are they making? What is the emotional bond that is formed between author and partaker in these interactions with the so called “art”? So is art, like beauty, in the eye of the beholder? And does it take more than one person to call something art for it to be considered so? So thinking logically, Twilight might be considered one of the greatest works of art to the female population. Stephenie Meyer is able to connect with those girls (and at times guys) and have them feel the same way she felt when writing the series. So to those who enjoy and connect with the lives of Edward and Bella, the Twilight series has become a piece of art in their lives. I on the other hand, managed the force myself through the first book and hardly consider it to be anything even resembling art. But that just goes to show that art is subjective and determined on an individual basis.

Giving It Away

2009-07-09T22:03:00.003-06:00

(For the assigment, I was supposed to give away something of value. (Other than time) And I had to write an analysis paper on what I gave away and why.)

The discussion in class last Wednesday only made it harder for me to choose what I was going to give away for this assignment. I wanted it to be something truly amazing. Something that I could be proud of and perhaps even use on a graduate school application. It took me a few days to realize that I was being completely selfish with the assignment. Well, not completely, but I did want to give away something cool enough that it would impress people. After our last class discussion about what art really is, I started to think about what makes something valuable. That line of thought brought me to a variety of answers: it makes us happy, reminds us of loved ones or cherished memories, makes us better and even makes life easier. And then I thought of things that are of the greatest value: they give life meaning.

Love is something of great value. But is that something we really give away? I suppose not. Love is something we share. You can’t really love someone and not get anything in return. It’s a two-way street. Service is the same way. The Gospel even teaches us that by serving others, we serve God. I’ve realized that there is no “winning” with Him. No returning the favor or paying Him back. We’ll always be in His debt. Not that I’m complaining. He blesses us, then we try to bless other people’s lives in trying to serve him, and he blesses us all the more for it. So I couldn’t give away love, and I couldn’t just do some service for someone. Then I began to think about value in the most fundamental way I could. What does a person need to live? Love? Already nixed that one. Shelter? I couldn’t really afford to buy someone a house, I’m not skilled enough to build someone a house, and I don’t think my wife would approve of me bringing someone home to live with us. The biggest problem about that idea was that I didn’t know anyone looking for a place to stay. Then it hit me. Food. You can’t live without it. (Air is another thing that you need, but I don’t really see any shortage of that around. Thanks God, you got me again.) So there I had it. I would give something that held the greatest value, a full belly. Now the only problem was how I was going to get the most value out of it. I couldn’t just come home with some McDonalds and hand it to my wife and expect her to see much value in that. This assignment wasn’t about me getting the value out of giving something away, but to give something that someone else valued. I mean, I could give my cherished Hello Kitty figurine, but whomever I gave it to would probably see little or no value in that gift, and it would undoubtedly end up in the trash somewhere down the road. There would be no value in that exchange. I had to find someone who saw the true value of a warm meal and that would cherish that gift. I had plenty of options. Food banks, the welfare program, homeless shelters. Between work, home, and school I couldn’t figure out a time that I would be able to visit one of these places. I didn’t even know if I was allowed to just show up and they would accept my food. Then, an opportunity presented itself. My trainer at the company I work for came around to our group and told us about a program the company sponsors. We could have a portion of our paycheck deducted every month that went towards purchasing bags of the company produced VitaMeal that would feed a child in a poverty stricken area of the world for a month. It was easy. All I had to do was fill out a few lines of information and sign on the dotted-line. That child would have a full month of hot meals. That was it. I gave away a month’s worth of food in the 30 seconds it took me to write my name and the date. That child would value the food and they would never even know who had given it to them. To me this made it all the better because I wasn’t receiving any recognition for the gift. I wasn’t there to hand it to them and be thanked and given something in return. This was their gift to enjoy and have for themselves.

Anyone?

2009-06-25T23:07:00.003-06:00

So I have a proposition. If someone out there sends me and my lovely wife (and as many other people as they wish) on an all-expenses paid trip to Japan, I would be willing to do just about anything. Well, not anything, but I would gladly tour them around, introduce them to loads of REAL Japanese people, show them the best places to eat, and translate for the entire trip. I mean really. I lived in a few of the biggest cities in Japan. Nagoya. Osaka. And most importantly, Kyoto. Heck, I can get around Kyoto better than most Japanese people. I even lived in the birthplace of Shinto. You don't get too much better countryside than Ise. So help a brother out. It's been way to long since I've been back.

2009-05-15T15:20:00.002-06:00

Since I aparently STINK at updating my blog...

www.twitter.com/xcasian

Oh, and I'm married now

You Bet Your Bottom Dollar

2009-04-14T01:04:00.001-06:00

Walks at midnight are very nice. I would even go as far as to say I highly recommend them.

Pictures

2009-03-27T15:32:00.004-06:00

These were all taken by Skoticus (Thanks again)

Things I Learned From Being Home

2009-03-17T14:07:00.003-06:00

1. Oregon is amazing.

No, really. I had forgotten how much better Oregon is than Utah, but I need to be careful of what I write because if I get distracted I might just write an entire blog about the terrible things in Utah. Granted, there are a lot of things that I dislike about Provo, but Utah is a great place. I just don't want to live here for the rest of my life. See? I'm already getting distracted. Oregon. Right. I love it. The air smells so much better. It's cleaner. It's wet. Thank goodness for moisture. (Moisture is such a Utah word) No sales tax. Tillamook. The rain actually makes things cleaner in Oregon. People are polite when they drive. Oregon has Asian people. Portland is about 100x better than Salt Lake City. Oregon has REAL Japanese restaurants. SEAFOOD.

There is one thing that I have to complain about though. We can't pump our own gas in Oregon. I think it's actually against the law to try and do it yourself. Ridiculous.

2. My parents are very chill... at least most of them

Mom and Dad are awesome. Guests (especially Amanda) cause them to tease me much much more, but I love 'em. They are awesome cooks, and they definitely take the Japanese approach to customer service. They made sure that Amanda was happy the entire time. She did help me realize how much Japanese we speak to each other though. It's hard to get out of that habit. Really hard. My parents are the best though. I mean, I would never worry about bringing friends home to meet them. They're the kind of parents that I wouldn't mind bringing along on a group date. My mom can be embarrassing at times, but really, whose mother isn't? This leads to my next point.

3. My mother is ridiculously competitive

I've never seen someone try and cheat so much at Catch Phrase. Enough said.

4. The drive from Utah to Oregon is long

I swear that we got trapped in some sort of time warp. Going there I can understand why it took us so long. We were driving 30 MPH for 2 hours in a 60 MPH zone. What I don't get, is how it took us just as long to get home. Luckily, I have the best fiance in the world. She didn't even get mad when I fell asleep coming home. Although, I am a great fiance as well. I would periodically wake up, fumble around trying to hold her hand, and while barely awake ask, "Are you okay? Do you want me to drive?", then promptly fall back asleep. Nothing's too good for my Bear.

5. Jerome, ID is the smelliest place on earth

6. The KFC in The Dalles might be the scariest KFC in the world

7. Amanda is the best

I'm not going to go on and on and embarrass her (or myself) or make anyone out there feel sick to their stomach. I'll just refer back to #4 as a small example of what she lets me do for her.

8. Karen Wilson gives the best haircuts

9. If your dad wants you to try some new food/drink, but doesn't offer any to your fiance, don't take it. It will probably taste like death.

10. Road trips are much more fun with a girlfriend/fiance.

Boys won't feel bad about farting in the car during a road trip.

Broken-Hearted

2009-02-15T22:19:00.007-07:00

So for the last week or so, Amanda has been constantly asking me for blueberry muffins. I don't think that she was trying to get me to buy some or really make some, but for some reason she kept the joke running. So natrually, I made them for Valentine's Day. They were AMAZING. I think Mariko has started to influence me. I just want to sit at home and make food all day.

They were so good. I want to make them again. Maybe raspberry next time.

Unfortunately, the chocolate molten cakes I made tonight didn't turn out so well.

I was so sad. I've made these several times before, and they were always a little undercooked. (Which is 100x better than overcooked) I thought, "Oh, two more minutes couldn't hurt." It hurt alright. It hurt bad.

We also made a pot roast for dinner on Saturday. So good. I love meat. Can I become a meatatarian?

Nine Random Stories

2009-02-01T22:31:00.005-07:00

The Cardinals lost. But it was a great finish. I am slightly disappointed, but hey, at least there were some great commercials. This was my favorite. Amazing.

Anyways, it's been a crazy last few weeks. Amanda and I finally set a date and picked a temple. (May 2nd at Draper) We're going to the open house this week, so it'll be fun to be able to see it before we actually go through. A lot of people ask me how it is to be engaged. My answer? It feels pretty much the same, but with a lot more stress. I mean, Amanda and I have been dating on and off since the summer I got home from Japan. (Mostly on though, just to let you know) I'll just be glad when it's May and we're moved in to our new apartment. Just gotta survive school.

I have such mixed feelings about school. I love my teachers and classes are quite interesting. (Guns, Germs, and Steel is a very interesting read) I hate the homework though. Goodness. Some of the reading to prepare for the next class is so long and dry it makes me want to drop out and pursue my pro skateboarding career. Amanda says she'll even let me grow out my hair to ridiculous lengths for it. (Maybe next year) Classical Japanese might be favorite class. Japanese Short Stories might have my favorite people in it. All of my Japanese classes have really helped me understand the language better though, although everyday makes me realize more and more how little I know.

If I were suddenly to get deathly ill, and no one knew why I would definitely call Dr. House. I love that man. Although I do hate him quite often. I just finished Season 4 and have only had the chance to see the first episode of Season 5. I miss Wilson already. I need a better Internet connection.

Today in Testimony Meeting we had a visitor. A man who wore a scarf and what appeared to be some sort of military uniform, topped with a beret. He told us how he loved the Constitution and we needed to protect it from enemies both domestic and foreign - especially communists and socialists. He wondered if everyone who bore their testimony really had a testimony as strong as they claimed, and if we all looked within ourselves, there would be a lot more people admitting they were addicts and check themselves into the Church's 12 step program. Gotta love visitors.

I've come to realize that board games (or any competitive game) becomes much more personal when you have a significant other. Amanda and I have played Yahtzee approximately 300 times in the last 6 months. We had to get more scorecards from Wal-Mart the other day. Who ever is losing throws a fit. It's become a ritual of sorts. Bang! has recently been introduced to us and I have a perfect record. 2-0. Beginner's luck perhaps. I killed Amanda both times and tricked Lance into not killing me until it was too late. It's a touchy subject. In order to counter this problem of upsetting Amanda and making sure that she doesn't break off the engagement, sometimes I let her win. Just don't tell her.

In other news, I hate Jake Kempton.

I've had a lot of weird dreams lately. I keep telling myself to write them down when I wake up, but I have yet to do so. I know I dream every night and they're usually quite interesting. I used to wake up in the middle of the night on my mission and write down what I remembered. There are several notes that I must have scribbled at some point that I have zero recollection of. It's pretty freaky.

Speaking of zero recollection. This is good. One night, Amanda and I were sitting down to bless the food. Just like every night, we argued about who said the last prayer and whose turn it was to pray this time. We argued for a while, reached the conclusion it was Amanda's turn. Then I got up to get the salt and pepper and came back and put my head down to allow her to pray. I must have been in that position for about 10 seconds when I opened my eyes to find Amanda eating. I was shocked. How could she eat that unclean food. I questioned her and she kept telling me we had prayed. I assumed she was just giving me a hard time and trying to get me to pray. We must have argued about it for a good 3 minutes. Apparently she did pray, then got up to get the salt and pepper. I still think she was just playing me for a fool. I hope my brain isn't turning to mush...

The Secret of Long Life

2009-01-18T15:39:00.004-07:00

It's true what they say. You never know how much you love something until it's gone. For the first time in a long time I got sick this last week. Just a cold. Nothing big. But boy, did I hate my life. I couldn't believe how much I missed just being able to breathe through my nose. For three nights in a row I woke up at least 4 times to clear the blockage slowly suffocating me. Luckily I avoided a sore throat and any other things. I did feel bad for all of the kids sitting next to me in my history class though. I was in the middle of the row and stupidly forgot to bring any tissues. That was the first time I'd ever had my nose drip like a leaky faucet. It was ridiculous. All I can say is. Thank goodness that it only happens about once a year to me. I can't even remember the last time I threw up, and I did XC and Track in HS. Want to know how you too can become immune to disease? Well, I can't lie. I don't have any quick fix solution. If you start now, you might be able to start being immune in, oh say, twenty years. Anyways, are you ready? Okay. Here it is.

Eat the food that falls on the floor. (This does NOT include things that fall into wet/sticky/damp/or otherwise moist things)

Now this might go against everything you've believed up to this point, but trust me. I give all the credit to the Three Second Rule. So the next time your cookie falls to the floor, pick it up, eat it, get strong.

Up and Up

2008-11-21T13:28:00.004-07:00

1. Put your iTunes/MP3 library on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

(I was bored, and this sounded interesting. So sue me.)

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Send My Love to the Dance Floor I'll See You In Hell (Hey Mister DJ)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Be Back Soon

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
21 and Invincible

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Devestation and Reform

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE
MOVING is CHANGING

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Skulls

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Perfectly Marvelous

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Dark Blue

WHAT IS 2+2?
What a Sight

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Figure .09

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
A Mess to be Made

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Sadie Hawkins Dance

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Banana Pancakes

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
永遠にともに (Forever Together)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Question

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
For Fiona

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The Pros and Cons of Breathing

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Mackerel's Canned Food

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I Fought the Law

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Memory

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Sexy Plexi

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
American Idiot

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Times Like These

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Talking In Code

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Mr. Therapy Man

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
She's a Handsome Woman

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
It Ends Tonight

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Screaming Infidelities

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Never Ready to Leave

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
She''ll Come Back to Me

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Up and Up

2009 is Eight Years Too Late

2008-11-19T00:39:00.002-07:00

I cannot wait for President-Elect Obama to become President Obama. I have high hopes for that man (notice, he is a man. I have not made any reference to him being some demi-god or all-powerful deity.) It still blows me away that there are people out there that are sitting around, waiting for him to fail and become the worst president America has ever seen. This seems like a bad idea. Sort of like hoping the plumber that is fixing your toilet plants C4 in the tank.

In other news, I love the Portland Trailblazers.

Obama - 44

2008-11-15T18:49:00.004-07:00

And I thought it was over. It's been almost 2 weeks since the elections and people are STILL complaining. I'm not sure how many conversations I've overheard, newspaper articles I've read, or blogs/facebook notes have been posted about the results. Maybe it comes from being here at BYU, but I think it has more to do with the LDS community. I have no qualms with those who voted for McCain/Pailin. I think John McCain was doing what he thought best and I was deeply impressed by his concession speech. I'm less than impressed with many of his upset supporters, who have "given up" on America, or openly hope and pray for President-Elect Obama's failure. Is that really what you want? For all the horrible lies you believe, to be true? Maybe after when Obama is sworn in, he'll introduce us to his new cabinet. A Hitler clone will be released from his underground cavern, Ayers and Barrack will embrace, and Osama Bin Laden will come promising change. Frankly, I don't believe it. Other people are hoping that all of us supporters, will realize that he isn't perfect (if we ever believed that) and that he can't keep all of the promises he has made. Heck, if he can keep at least half of them, I think that would be better than most past presidents. (And anything has to be an improvement from the last 8 years) I've even had a few people try to tie in the church with this election. "Well, at least this means the Second Coming will be here sooner." True story. And I have nothing to say about all the claims of socialism,Obama's ties to terrorists and most of all the argument, "He won because he was black". Stupid. I just want to extend an invitation to all those angry McCain supporters. Let it go. Get over it. It happened. You weren't wrong in supporting McCain, but he lost. If you really support him, then listen to his counsel.

"Senator Obama and I have had and argued our differences, and he has prevailed. No doubt many of those differences remain. These are difficult times for our country, and I pledge to him tonight to do all in my power to help him lead us through the many challenges we face.

I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our good will and earnest effort to find ways to come together, to find the necessary compromises, to bridge our differences, and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited.

Whatever our differences, we are fellow Americans. And please believe me when I say no association has ever meant more to me than that." (johnmccain.com)

Obama won't be a perfect president. No one has been, and no one ever will. But I'm sure he'll do what every other president has done before him. His best. Doing what he believes is best for the country, and for each individual Amercian.

America and the Controlled Media

2008-10-23T11:45:00.005-06:00

We've actually talked about this a lot in my Japanese 321 class lately. We read newspapers and news articles and we compare the way Japanese newspapers report the news with how American newspapers tend to report. Any person who is writing, especially in newspapers or other forms of media that are intended to be seen by others as informational or informative, will have the writer's bias. The writer brings their own opinions and experiences to the table when they write. CNN will do that. Fox News will do that. (I just have to say, I hate Fox News)

After watching the debates I was flipping through the different news channels to see what they said about the debate. After the 3rd debate, CNN had Obama 58% to McCain 31%. Fox news had 87% for McCain while 12% for Obama. How can that be? Who was taking these polls? How could they be having such different results? Were these polls reliable? Were they valid? My guess is that more Obama supporters were probably watching CNN and voted on their poll, while McCain supporters love Fox News. The thing is, people who support Obama aren't going to change sides because of anti-Obama media, just like Pro-McCain people aren't going to be turned off by Anti-McCain publications. The real target of the media is undecided voters. This creates a huge problem for people who are looking to get the real news so they can vote for who fits with them and their standards. With YouTube going 24/7 with probably millions of videos out there, it's hard to know which videos have a vaild point, while others are just unbelievable. I have a hard time believing most of the things that people say on YouTube, write in emails, or word of mouth stories that don't have any supporting evidence for the claims they make. (And I don't count something a Fox News anchor or a CNN Analyist just says. They need to show their reasearch for the conlusion they make) I mean, it almost seems like all these stories and all these attacks are just a form of gossip. "I heard that McCain eats babies", "I heard Obama had a secret affair". "Did you hear? I heard Barrack got Botox!". It's almost ridiculous what's out there. (Just look at our own Daily Universe) I really like the advice my sister gave me. Watch the debates, look at the candidates stances on the issues, and make your own decision. Seems pretty good to me. Listening to what the other candidate says about their opponent probably isn't your best source. Listening to what anti-Obama groups have to say about Obama is more than likely, going to be heavily biased. Don't get me wrong, I think it's everyone's right to get out there and voice their opinion, but you have to remember that it's their opinion. Choosing who to vote for is a very personal thing. I have nothing against anyone who wants to vote for McCain, as long as they are informed and really believe in McCain and what he stands for. People who are just voting because a candidate is better looking, is African-American, is white, a republican, a democrat, is the stupidest thing that could be done. Come on people, do some reasearch, really look into the different issues. If you do hear something that's linking a candidate to a terrible attrocity (Baby killing; being in with big oil companies) find out the facts. It's gonna take some work to actually find out what's going on, but that's the point right? Finding out the truth and finding out what you really believe isn't going to be easy. Everyone who reads this, do me a favor and don't just vote, really find out which candidate you can support. Then vote.

Just for fun. Here is something from BYU's newspaper:

(This is a Letter to the Editor from BYU''s Newspaper)

My Wife and I took a trip down to St. George this weekend and we had an opportunity to talk with a great uncle who lived in Austria during World War II. He remembered he was six years old when he hear Hitler speak for the first time. He told us he had a very distinct feeling of how evil Hitler was. The conversation switched to politics later on and he told us that he had the exact same feeling when he heard Obama speak for the first time. There's a common saying that those who don't learn from history are bound to repeat it. I'm not a hard-core Republican or anything like that, but since he received the same revelation for these two people, shouldn't we be doing something?
Christan Anderson
St. George

School Daze

2008-09-14T18:17:00.004-06:00

I have such mixed feeling about school. I love going. I love learning. I hate homework. This semester is going to be pretty crazy, but I'm really enjoying it.

I have 3 Japanese classes. All of them are done mostly in English, but that's what makes them hard. 325 is Morphology, Syntax & Semantics. What the heck does that even mean? When did I learn this in school? Most of the time I use my Japanese to Japanese dictionary to understand the meanings, since Webster's just makes me even more confused. Predicates? Subjunctive? Who invented English? It's rediculous. Plus trying to use words like "noun", "verb" and such words doesn't always work to describe Japanese. Japanese has a lot of words that would take up an entire sentence in English. Japanese 377 is about teaching Japanese as a second language. This is actually one of my favorite classes because we get a lot of discussion time. Japanese 321 is taught by the same professor and the class focus is on reading newspapers. I never really tried to do this on my mission, and now I know why.

Aside from the Japanese classes, I have New Testament and History 201. I really enjoy the New Testament, especially the second half. History 201 isn't too bad. I'm reading The Canterbury Tales for my book report, and my professor has been to a lot of the places that we're studying so it's cool to see pictures from his travels. The focus of the class is on sacred symbols, so depite the 2 hour long lecture every Tuesday/Thursday, it is pretty interesting.

I'm looking at a TA position for the winter in Japanese 300, so hopefully that pans out. I'm also trying to see if being a part-time translator for patents is do-able.

Outside of school I've just been hanging out at home. I love my new apartment, the new roomies are awesome, and the ward is pretty good. Amanda lives just across the street so it's been nice for us. We've started branching out and cooking different things. Our casserole turned out really well. Tonight is salmon, so I'm excited. I haven't had fish in a really long time. For dessert we've got Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies on the menu. Any suggestions? (I'm looking at you, Mariko and Dad)

Unbelieveable

2008-08-05T22:57:00.003-06:00

I'll just start out and say, I left my apartment this morning at 6:40 and I just got home. It's about 10:50. What the heck. I'm not even getting paid for this. This is much more work than I was expecting. I know next to nothing and I'm practically in charge. Half the time I'm not even given clear instructions. I'm not even going to go into yesterday, other than to say I spent 3 hours sitting the Park and Wait at the SLC Airport. Then they didn't even need the moving truck I was driving. For that, I think I'll hire some ninjas to hunt them down.

This morning I arrived at Ikea at around 7:30. I was told that most of the kids/host families would be there, but to my surprise (note the sarcasm) no one else showed up till 8. So I met some of the kids, talked to a few of the parents, and we were off. We made it to the University of Utah where we disembarked from the bus. Lucky for us, one of the teachers saw us and came out to show us to our room. We spent the next 2 hours practicing the Festival Song. It was pretty good. Fun to actually see them singing. We then had lunch, and then a workshop. There was a lady there who was a professional translator, which was good for me because I really don't know how to talk about recording studios in Japanese. But I'm tired, so I'm going to stop here.

Gimmie a Little of that H2O

2008-07-30T00:20:00.003-06:00

So, I've been off pop (soda, soda pop, coke, sugary death, whatever you want to call it) for about a month now. I was going strong for a while before my mission, but once I hit Japan I couldn't resist Melon Creme (cream? What is the difference anyway?), the Fanta that had new flavors coming out every month, lychee-melon, and my personal favorite, Mango Cream.

Mmmmm, I miss Japan. They had THE best drinks. And the best food. Kobe Beef, 'nuff said. Their fruit was also better... and their soft serve... and their cakes... Okay, Japan has better food, period.

Anyways, I've been off pop for a month now and I can't really complain. I don't really have too many urges to drink it. Guarana is the only pop that I'm tempted by. I drink mostly water. I've had a fair number of Slurpees lately though. They also came out with a metal Slurpee straw. It's probably the most amazing thing ever. I have 3. Black, blue, and pink. If you don't have one, I highy recomend going to your local 7-11 and picking one up. It's worth the 99 cents. Trust me.

Question for everyone. Do you call it "pop", "soda", "soda pop", "coke" or anything else?

Why So Serious?

2008-07-28T14:54:00.002-06:00

Well everyone, I know it's been a while. I always say that too, but I've made a goal to write something at least twice a week, so hopefully I can actually do that. I'm not really sure what to say about life right now, but I'll just kinda keep going till I feel like I've sufficiently updated everyone with my life.

First off, The Dark Knight. One work. Superfreakingsweet. Yeah... I love this movie. I've seen it twice so far, and hope to catch it in the IMAX up in Salt Lake. Mmmm. Heath Ledger did an amazing job as The Joker. He was ALWAYS in character. He had so many little quirks that made him come alive. I really enjoyed the story, and was glad they killed off the girl. I'm sorry, but she was not atractive at all. Harvey Dent was great, and the way they had him choose things by the flip of his coin, genius. My one complaint, was that sometimes Batman's voice was a little over the top. I almost laughed out loud during a few of the times he would be ranting. All in all, an awesome movie.

Wii Fit. I got one. Lance, Kevin and I found it late one night at Wal-Mart. Going there at 2 in the morning was the best idea we've ever had. It's fun, and it actually does give a pretty good work out. I've been doing yoga almost every day, and it feels good. The one complaint, it gets dirty from everyone's feet kinda fast. Solution: A cover for it.

Mario 3. Lance and I have been playing this a lot lately. Mosty Lance, but such a classic game it worthy of mention here.

As for everything else in life. Hmmm. Lance is here in Provo now, so it's been fun to have him around. I've started dating again, ha ha, but I'm not sure I'm at liberty to go too much further in detail, so if you're dying to know, call me.

Yesterday at church I had some interesting thoughts. First, in Elders Quorum, Jared was giving the lesson on having more meaningful prayers. He quoted the Bible Dictionary. "Prayer is a form of work, and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings" I thought this was interesting, and I began to explore this in my mind. "Through prayer, we gain the highest of all blessings. And the highest of all blessings is exaltation.... So... How does that work?" The more I thought about it, the more I realized how simple, yet powerful this idea was. Through prayer we can gain eternal life. I'm not talking about the prayers we sometimes spout out. The ones we say as we're thinking about other things. The ones we say when we're too tired to think, or too hungry to wait. Real prayers take a good amount of effort. Enos wrestled before God in order to receive an answer to his prayer. I know that through sincere prayer that we get to know our Heavenly Father on a personal basis. And when we develop and strive to keep that relationship with him, it is easier to fight off temptation and harder to stray from the things that we should be doing. Scripture study becomes easier when we are close to our Father in Heaven. Tithing no longer becomes a challenge. It is easier to trust Him, to follow him, and to do the things He asks when we know Him. And when we know him and follow him, then we can receive eternal life. And the best way to get to know him? Prayer. It's as simple as that.

Thank goodness for autosave. I would have just lost everything I had written.

During sacrament, there were three speakers. A friend of mine first got up and spoke. The talk way good. It was sincere, and the spirit was there. It was a simple heartfelt talk. I could tell she was nervous, but she made it through, and her testimony was powerful. The next speaker is a guy who is very gifted with speaking. Very gifted. He's funny, precise, and deliberate. He had a lot of good stories, and a good collection of quotes and scriptures. He was very captivating, yet there was something that was missing. I didn't feel quite right. Not to bash on him or to say he isn't a great guy, but the talk didn't quite have the same spirit about it. The more I thought about it, I realized what it was. He had an amazing talk, but it brought the attention of the congregation on him, not on his topic. I think I was more entertained than edified. Yet as I looked around, and from the comments I heard after sacrament, almost everyone else in attendance thought the world of his talk. Maybe I was just jealous.

Advance Warning

2008-07-23T09:45:00.002-06:00

Attention

In the next few days, some super exciting news will be posted

That is all

Well look who came crawling back...

2008-06-09T23:53:00.002-06:00

I know, I know, I know. Don't say it, I know. I said I would try harder to write. I've even had a LOT more free time. Actually, thats a lie. I've been so busy with a million other things. Let's see if we can't summarize what's been going on.

So, I'm still living in Liberty Square. I did move apartments though, and that has been AMAZING. I love the new apartment, and it's been a blast living with Jake, Jared and Eric. (We'll throw in Jeremy since he's been sleeping on our couch for the last 2 weeks.) I love the new ward. So fun. I think that I have the best calling too. FHE Dad. At first I was like... "LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!" But, I've grown to love it. Seriously. I have some of the coolest kids. EVER. They're fun, they like to hang out and just do nothing, and they're up for crazy things. It was kinda hard at first, being a single parent, but I was finally able to find a mother for our children, and it's been a blast since. I really haven't had much time to myself these last few weeks because we're always doing things as a family. It's pretty great.

Work is starting to kill me. There hasn't been much variety lately, so I've been bored. A lot. The good news is, that the MTC called me in for an interview and has a few Japanese positions open right now, so I'm praying that I get that job.

Honestly, that's pretty much my life. Work and family. But I'm not complaining.

Last One... I promise... At least for a While...

2008-04-26T10:39:00.001-06:00

My Favorite Unicorn

2008-04-25T23:28:00.001-06:00

I haven't updated for a while, other than videos. What can I say? I'm lazy. Now that I'm done with school though, and just working. I should have more time to talk more about my life. Too bad that more time= more boring. I'll try and light something on fire or set off a fire extinguisher. Or both...

Mario!

2008-04-21T00:55:00.001-06:00

http://view.break.com/487616 - Watch more free videos

Contrary to Popular Belief, I am not dead

2008-04-02T21:07:00.002-06:00

So really, I've been super busy for the last month and a half. Honestly. I mean, I've been.... doing homework... sleeping... eating... You know, those really important things that I couldn't put on hold just to write on my blog and please all 3 of my readers. Did I say 3? Yep, I'm including myself. I'm actually pretty sure that I get about 2 views a month, and thats if I use a computer other than my own to check the blog.

Anyways, the last month and a half has been pretty crazy. I went from being in a pretty serious relationship, to being single andhating girls, to tolerating girls but having none, to going on my first blind date and enjoying girls, to then suddenly being in a relationship again. Really, I didn't see that one coming. Okay... maybe I did, but it was pretty unexpected. It's been really good. And that's all I have to say about that.

School is killing me softy. I'm glad the semester is almost over, but at the same time am not looking forward to finals. I'm excited for new classes though, and ready to be done with a few of mine. I really enjoy my Japanese classes this semester. I think it's mostly due to the people in those classes. I'll have to see if any are continuing on and try and get in the same section as them.

Work has been good. Nothing too hard, but there are some crazies at my work. Gotta love the lady who thought my name was Cuban. Oh old women.

Sorry for the shortness of the update but I really don't know what else to say. All my love to my faithful readers.

Read a Book!

2008-03-13T13:46:00.000-06:00

Italian Spiderman

2008-03-04T17:59:00.001-07:00

Kingdom Come

2008-03-03T22:18:00.000-07:00

Still my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time
My time has come
Let me in
Unlock the door
I never felt this way before

And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know which way I’ve come

Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For you I’ve waited all these years
For you I’d wait till kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

In your tears and in your blood
In your fire and in your flood
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing
I wouldn’t change a single thing
And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know what I’ve become

For you I’d wait till kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

Anyone?... Anyone?

2008-02-28T23:14:00.004-07:00

I wonder if this is how I sound on my blog. Is anyone even reading this? Anyone? How about you let me know, leave a comment! Email me! Call me! I need friends... Okay, that was probably the worst thing I've ever written on my blog. You know you're a loser when you write "I need friends" on your blog. If you'll excuse me, I'll be drowning myself in the toilet.

My Home

2008-02-28T19:37:00.002-07:00

It's my house. You can even see my car. What would we do without Google Earth?

何だろう

2008-02-27T10:31:00.002-07:00

It's interesting how your life can be completely changed in just a matter of seconds. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a raft, floating on the sea of life when all of a sudden the raft is overturned and I'm struggling to stay afloat and get back in the boat. I know a lot of people who say that life is all determined on how you look at it and that you are in complete control in how your life goes. On the other hand there are the people who say life is all chance, or an act of God that we have no control how things turn out. I think I agree with both of these ways of thinking. God is in control, but that doesn't take away our agency. A lot of life I believe is on how we react, or act on what we're given. Obviously some things in life are in direct consequence of something we do, but a lot of the time we have no more control than a schooner in a storm. When something doesn't go our way, do we run away? Do we blame God for letting this happen? Or do we stand up and make our own future and do the best we can with what we have. This last week feels like it's just been one storm after another, and just when I thought the it was over I've found myself lost at sea. It's actually not as bad as I thought it would be. I think it would be easy for me to get mad and blame someone for everything that's going wrong, but I guess I can't. I'm not really sure where I go from here, but I guess it's the journey not the destination

Maido

2008-02-22T15:28:00.002-07:00

I've been having this struggle lately. I wish that more people spoke Japanese, but at the same time I'm glad that more people don't understand me when I'm talking to my parents or other Japanese speakers. Maybe it would be nice if it was like English in Japan. Japanese uses lots of English words. (although they don't always use the same meaning) There have been a lot of times lately that in the middle of a conversation I've wanted to use a Japanese word. It would've fit so well, and been exactly how I wanted to convey my message, but alas, I only draw blank stares from people as I try to explain what the word means. I've found that my explanations are lacking. The dictionary usually fails to adequately portray the word of choice. Oh well, at least I have Japanese missionaries and my parents to talk to. I actually don't speak too much English to my parents anymore, but it's always nice to know that I can speak a healthy mix if needed.

I've really been enjoying my Japanese classes as of late. Not really due to the content of the lessons or what I'm learning, but the people in my classes. (Teachers included). I've met some good friends and our 311 class has bonded pretty well along with my section in 302.

Actually, now that I think of it, I've got friends in almost every class. I think the only... here comes the Japanese...　微妙... Where did I put that dictionary? Okay, again a terrible translation. Lets try that again. The only class that might be a little questionable is my Physcial Science lecture. Boring as all get out and I don't really know anyone in there. I don't really make an effort so I can't really complain. When I first got home from my mission I still was planning on being an Elementary Ed major, so I took the Physical Science classes for ElEd majors. That means I'm one of 4-6 guys in a class of 200+. I'm the only guy in my lab of 40, of which my TA was gracious enough to point out.

This picture was shown this week in my PS lecture and when one girl saw it she cried out, "Oh my gosh! You've GOT to be kidding me!"

I was shocked. I laughed. I was surprised more people hadn't ever seen this. I had a dinosaur obsession when I was little, so I think I've known about it since I was like 6 and just accepted it as something that existed. Apparently only 18 percent of my class believes in evolution. This led to some interesting conversations. I know that God created man and placed him in the Garden of Eden, but we're not very sure of any details about this other than he created us out of dust. I know that my ancient ancestors weren't monkeys, but I don't see why God couldn't have used evolution somehow in The Creation. You'll be hard pressed to convince me that evolution just doesn't exist.

For some reason that just made me think of politics at BYU. There's a big fuss about a sign the BYU Democrats made that said, "Now you have to think". This was posted minutes after Romney announced he was stopping his run for President. I don't think this was the best way for the crats to go about it, but I don't really disagree. (I think this is where I should insert an important statement, I'm not a democrat. I'm not a republican either) I've talked to a few people around here and pretty much everyone I know was going to vote for Mitt. My next question after asking who people are planning on voting for is always "Why?" and I was always slightly disappointed by people's responses. Not too many people could give me strong reasons for their choice (this is including people voting for Obama, Clinton and McCain.) I'm not pretending that I'm the most informed about things, don't get me wrong. I'm just hoping people start learning a little bit more about the candidates they're rooting for. Actually, I'm going to follow my own advice and do a little research.

McDonalds

2008-02-09T09:02:00.000-07:00

WiiFit

2008-02-07T16:42:00.001-07:00

I want this...

Another reason to never do drugs...

2008-02-03T10:56:00.000-07:00

Wow last night was crazy. I had some of the weirdest dreams ever. First of all, I think I might've been a girl for part of it. Second, I was Japanese. And third, I'm pretty sure it was a Japanese spin on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Except this time I was trying to escape this building and all these white people were trying to get me and my friend. There was an evil witch too, but don't worry, I gave her a few good smacks with my suitcase. And the cause of all of these crazy dreams? Benadryl. So I broke out in some hives yesterday evening. Don't really know why. It was very itchy, and not very much fun. I'm all better now, but my head is throbbing slightly. Amanda and I were babysitting her sister's children, and after we put them to bed, I suddenly was attacked by these hives. Apparently my body isn't very good at fighting them back.

Today is the Japanese Food Party, so I'm pretty excited for that. Should be fun to see some old mission friends and have some Japanese food. I'm predicting that at least 90% of the food there will be curry. Oh well. Still good, nonetheless. I'm pretty tired, and can't think of anything exciting to say, so I'm gonna go shower and hope I feel better soon. Remember kids, winners don't do drugs. (What about the athletes that do drugs and win games? Uh oh...)

I can only imagine...

2008-01-23T23:43:00.000-07:00

I've never been one to be involved too heavily in politics. And to be honest, I think it's safer for me not to open my mouth about it, seeing how I'm at a college so one-sided. I'm not saying that the Republicans are terrible and that the Democrats are God's gift to America. (nor the opposite) I look more at the candidates than the parties involved. One thing that did come to my attention today (although via The Daily Show and The Colbert Report) is that Mitt Romney is one interesting fellow. Just check this link out.

Oh Mitt. I think that Malcom Gladwell had some interesting points too. Like his hair.

I did manage to see a little bit of the Democratic debates in South Carolina. Obama and Clinton got pretty heated. Listening to that woman gives me the willies.

ふたりごと

2008-01-21T22:22:00.000-07:00

今からお前に何話そうかな
どうやってこの感じ伝えようかな
少し長くかかるかもな
でもね頑張ってみるよ
神様もきっとびっくり

This song seems to convey exactly how I'm feeling right now. Sometimes it just so hard to know what to do, or what do say. Today has been an interesting day. I know what you must be thinking, is that a bad interesting, or a good interesting? Well, to tell the truth, I'm still trying to figure that one out. There is still an hour and half left, but I doubt that I'll be doing anything but brushing my teeth and getting to bed. I'm about ready to crawl into bed and pull the covers over this day. I thought writing in here would spark something. Perhaps an "Aha!" moment, or you know... something. I remembered something today. I hate leaving things unfinished. I'm not a perfectionist, but I can't just leave something (hold on, looking in my Japanese-English dictionary) halfway(?). I guess that's what that is in English. Maybe I just need a nap. Scratch that, I need a full out sleep.

I've been reading my journal from my mission lately. Exactly a year ago. It's interesting to see what I wrote and then have the memories flood back. It seems like it was ages ago, but I can still remember it so vividly. I miss it, I wouldn't mind going back and reliving some of that. At least for a few days.

Speaking of the mission, the MTC called me back again. So I get to prepare another lesson to teach to see if this time they'll give me a job. No openings for next week either, guess I have to wait till February. I need a job.

Wish You Were Here

2008-01-15T19:14:00.000-07:00

So I applied again at the MTC this week. I had my second interview, which is less like an interview, and more of them watching us struggle to teach the Gospel in English and then determining our future journey within the gates of that holy place. I still have problems making things connect and flow well in English. I felt like I did fairly well though, and the Judges seemed to enjoy my lesson. I'll have to let everyone know what happens with that. I should be getting an email sometime in the next week. I also applied on-line to Best Buy and FYE. (If you're from one of those companies and reading this, HIRE ME! Or just give me free money) I really dread those on-line applications, because at the end they always ask those ridiculous questions. "Do you hate talking to people?" "Do you hit or break things when you are angry?" "Are you planning to steal as much as you can from this store before burning it down and running away to Mexico?" See? Ridiculous.

So right now I'm eating some meatballs I got at my journey to Ikea today. I must say, they are scrumptious. (Wow, I actually spelled that right) Of course I'm having mashed potatoes and gravy with the meatballs, and it's one of the better meals I've had as of late. I wish I had something better to drink than luke-warm Vitamin Water. Speaking of drinks, I've been trying to ease myself into drinking more water and less sugary sports-drinks. I did really well in December, and now... well, I'm having a hard time quitting the V-Water. So good. I know its terrible for me, but it's so much more appealing to me than water. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to marry someone who makes sure I eat and drink more healthy. Making me get out in the snow and run couldn't hurt either.

I did make it out the door the other day and ended up taking a nice little run. The next day I paid for it though. My lower back was nice and sore and I think I had a nice limp till the weekend. Maybe if I had kept it a little longer I could've qualified for a handicapped parking spot.

School is going well. I'm really enjoying almost all of my classes. Again, I'm the only boy in my Physical Science lab. Very awkward. Especially when the T.A. notices this, and points this out the 20-some odd girls that all turn in unison to stare at me. I guess it could be worse. Somehow.

All in all, I think life is going pretty well. This has definitely been an interesting year so far. I do wish I had my... wait... Hold on...

"January 15, 2007

P-day was pretty good. In the morning we did email. My parents wrote, and a few Japanese friends let me know how they were doing, but it was a slow day for emailing. After email we went over to Okamachi and hung out with those guys. Jentzsch and I talked a lot, we played cards, and we played around on their guitars. Kato and I came back, went to a 100円 store and then came home to go to the Nakanishi's. Way good food and they're a way nice couple. We practiced a lesson with them and they seemed to enjoy it. We found out last night we can get permission to fix the aircon/heater in our apartment, so we're excited that soon we won't have to worry about freezing to death in our sleep."

Wow... That was... boring... I mean, that was really cool to see how... my day last year was. I do remember going over to Okamachi and hanging out with the elders there. Good times. I'll try and find a better day to update my blog on, so I can have something exciting to tell from exactly 1 year ago. I better get back to my homework though.

Alive and Well

2007-12-21T10:34:00.000-07:00

Well, the last time I wrote on here, it was still relatively warm, there was no snow on the ground, and I hadn't even been privileged to have partaken of my Thanksgiving meal. I'm sure my thousands of loyal readers have been wondering, "Where the devil are you?". I even received a message from one of my entourage. She said, "Darling, you need to write on your blog." That made me realize something. I need to update this bad boy. But with what? I haven't really been doing that much lately.

School, blah. I'm done with that till next year, so let's just not think about it. (Although I should point out, that I rocked it like a hurricane. The kind of hurricanes that do well at things, not destroy and leave everything muddy and broken... no one likes those kind of hurricanes. And NOT like Hurricane Chris. He doesn't rock, he raps. Poorly.) I guess I could talk about school, and the fact that I've got a lot of free time now that it's over. It's kinda weird. I feel more tired now that I'm not studying all day and sitting in class rooms listening to professors fill me with knowledge. Seriously, I sometimes get my brain working hard playing sudoku. Did I say playing? I meant studying. That stuff takes some real concentration. (Don't worry Mariko, I only did it in one class, and only when the professor was talking about living in Texas for half an hour. This is a class about Physcial Science too. Really, he did that on more than one occassion. Actually, I'm pretty sure we got some random story about his life before becoming a professor at BYU almost every class session. I can't say I didn't like his class, he did blow up a hydrogen balloon once, and that was probably the coolest explosion I've ever felt/heard/seen in my entire life. Who says education isn't valuable?)

I've also been applying for a job at the MTC, and I do need to go back first thing next year for my second interview. I think it would be a pretty sweet job, except I might have a hard time with the kids who have been in the MTC over a month and don't even understand "Genki desu ka?". I worry about those people. I have a bunch of friends who teach at the MTC right now, and I like them, so I pray I get to work there. It would definitely beat working with college students at the CougarEat. I'm still looking into a modeling job at Abercrombie and Fitch, but I'm not sure I want to sell my soul quite yet.

On another note, I've been having really weird dreams lately. I was playing a card game with the Wesners, ate some moldy cheese which I spit into their sink, then flew off on a cloud. I even narrated it. I wish that happened in real life. I also wish at times, that life was a musical. Think about how sweet that would be. Choreographed dance scenes, romantic duets, and deep-thought solos. Freakin sweet, thats what I say. In the last few months, I've seen my share of movies. I Am Legend was pretty sweet, but not quite that legendary quality I was hoping for. Enchanted was way good, a very good date movie. Last night Amanda and I watched "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" and I think she'll agree, that was one long, terrible piece of film. Seriously, that was just bad. I've started season 3 of Lost, and it's still just as intense.

I'm flying home tomorrow, and it'll be nice to have some time with the Fam again. Too bad certain members of the family won't be there. Traitors. While it will be more quiet than Thanksgiving was, I'm not sure it's worth it. It has been 3 years since my last Christmas at home, so that will be very nice. Christmas on the mission was always a good experience though. You got to talk to your family, people sent you presents, and it seemed like the Japanese people listened to you just a little bit more because of the season. We caroled at train stations last Christmas in Nagoya, and that was one of the better memories of my mission. People really liked that, even it was everything their religion wasn't. You can't help but feel good when you hear Christmas carols. It's hard to believe that at this time last year, I was with my first bean. I miss him. Time is an interesting thing. For example, for many of my thousands of readers, the reading of this blog will have seemed but a moment, for as the saying goes, "Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." Yet for other readers will feel this blog is dragging on, and on, and on, and on, pioneer children sang as they walked, and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked AND walked. Yeah, it's kind of like that. Singing songs like that, I'm sure for those pioneer children the hike across the plains must have been eternity.

On a side note, good music (which is very subjective) is getting harder and harder to find, while the crap music (which is not subjective) is getting more and more common. Let's take a look at the top 5 songs on iTunes and YahooMusic.

Itunes:

Low (Feat. T-Pain) - Flo Rida
Love Song - Sara Bareilles
Apologize (Feat. OneRepublic) - Timbaland
No One - Alicia Keys
Paralyzer - Finger Eleven

YahooMusic:

No One - Alicia Keys
Kiss Kiss - Chris Brown
Headlines (Friendship Never Ends) -Spice Girls
Crank That - Soulja Boy Tellem
Sorry, Blame it on Me - Akon

Wow, look at those songs. I'll give Alicia Keys she is very talented and has a great voice, but I'm not a huge fan on that song. As for the rest, save the Spice Girls, Finger Eleven and Sara Bareilles, all I can say is, "How did some of these get popular?". I'll come right out and say it, I'm not a fan of most R&B or rap. There are some songs like I like to listen to occasionally, but one of the main reasons I don't listen to the radio, is because of R&B. While some of them are so ridiculous that I listen to them to laugh, I really can't stand much of it. So if you exclude the R&B from that list, you can listen to Sara Bareilles, which isn't so bad. Spice girls? I'll have to take a rain check on that one. Finger Eleven will never make it on to any playlist I have, unless I'm put in charge of torture somewhere. I should note that while some people might think that the music I listen to is all the same, washed out emo music, to that I say, you're just as entitled to your opinion as I am. Except, If you looked at my iTunes, you'd probably see a lot of bands that sound similar, there are quite a few in there that really make their own genre. Hirai Ken. Need I say more?

Merry Halloween!

2007-11-04T00:33:00.000-06:00

Halloween was good, even though I didn't really do anything. I did dress up... so to speak. If you can't tell from the pictures. I was Emo. I couldn't think of anything better. Then I realized I had a yukata from Japan that I could've worn. Then again, it would've been a lot colder. I enjoyed my Halloween, but I am more looking forward to Thanksgiving. I'm excited to see the Fam. I'm also excited for turkey. Oh that delicious flying fowl. Mmmm mmmm good. Oh, and I also dressed up as a Zoolander-type person just for fun. I admit, I want that jacket.

Milk Anyone?

2007-10-28T17:55:00.000-06:00

I was sitting here, eating Circus Animal cookies and drinking milk, when I realized. America doesn't make milk flavored things. Japan has Hokkaido Milk soft serve, which is so, so good. Japan also has various milk flavored candies and chocolate and even milk flavored bread, which is also, so, so good. I guess this surprises me just because so many Americans drink milk. I mean, I love milk, and it seems like a lot of people do too... so why hasn't anyone cashed in on this? And don't go telling me, "But we have milk chocolate!". That, is not milk flavored. I hope that somebody reads this realizes the potential this thing has.

Set Hit Spike

2007-10-27T10:20:00.000-06:00

So last night we had our second volleyball game. It was good. It was fun. We played much better. There were originally 6 of us, then one more girl showed up late. The only boys were Ben and me. While the other team only had 4, and one girl, we still lost. I'm not quite sure how this happened, but we kept the first game close. I still don't know everyone's name on the team, and I feel slightly bad about that. I've had a hard time remembering new people's names since I got back. American names are hard to remember, and even harder to spell. I applaud phonetic languages. I do try and remember names, and to spell them right. Maybe I should practice. I could go on babynames.com and have a friend pick out a few, and then I would try and remember the name, and spell it correctly. If I ever get that desperate, someone please come shoot me. You have to admit, it's not quite fair that I have a very uncommon name - which I believe makes it easier to remember. I mean, how many Matts or Bryans (or Brians) or Ashleys have you met? Exactly. I myself have only met a handful of Kegans and half the time they spell it Keegan. I did meet a girl named Keegan once, that was interesting. Anyways, volleyball. While we might have lost, we did have more fun (if you can even quantify that, which I did), and our team as a whole got better. I also spiked it over a tall boy. Score one for the short people.

It seems that all my dreams lately, involve ex-girlfriends and either vampires, zombies or some other creature that wants to eat my soul. Is this a problem?

To the people who live above me...

2007-10-26T13:27:00.000-06:00

I would just like to say, that if it causes my living quarters to shake and/or if through the ceiling I can clearly hear the lyrics to the music that issues from your apartment, then it's too loud. Much too loud. I appreciate that you wait until 9 in the morning to begin, and that more often than not you don't listen to it after 11pm I do believe that if it's this loud down here, that up there, you might need to get your hearing checked. Did you know that hearing aids having never been cheaper nor more stylish! Also, I think you'll be as shocked as I am, that maintenance has not replaced the glass cover to our light that fell and broke when you were listening to your music and jumping on our ceiling. I'm not sure what your purpose was in jumping up and down. Perhaps where you come from, that is a form of dance, but if your intent was to destroy our light cover, and make us believe that you were reenacting WWII in your living room, then bravo. It worked.

Sincerely,
The apartment below

It's not so bad...

2007-10-26T12:36:00.000-06:00

So I have this problem. I wake up, ready to face the day, energized, and full of expectations. Truth be told, 12 o'clock rolls around, and I'm already tired. Not so much a sleepy tired, but ready to be doing something else. After a few hours of studying simple things, and taking easy tests, I'm ready to be done. The homework, studying, and test really aren't that bad, it's just so tedious. Usually I manage to make it through all of my school work by seperating it into blocks. I study for say, an hour, then practice guitar, read, or do something to let my brain have a rest from text books and listening to Norm tell me how exciting ledgers are, and how I should be enthralled with accounting. As tempting as that offer is, I'll pass.
I really need to start keeping a journal again. I can hardly believe that I used to write everyday. Something I wish I still did. I like to believe that I have a pretty good memory, but I'm sure having a hard copy of the daily events in my life would be much more valuable.
Lately I've been having a lot of weird dreams. Zombies and vampires, and all of this taking place in Japan. I need to start back up on my dream journal as well. I used to be able to remember them so well, and I still can go back and read the dreams from a year ago, and vividly recall them. Luckily it's been quite a while since I've had a waking dream. Maybe next time I have one, I'll write down what's happening. I called Amanda the last time I had one, and I think she believed I had lost my mind. I'll admit, if I got a phone call from anyone at 2 in the morning telling me they thought they were losing their mind, I would start to wonder.
It seems like of my friends are getting either married or engaged lately. Naturally it makes me begin to wonder "When am I doing to get married?". A valid question I believe, but unfortunately, I can't answer that more specifically than "eventually". I really hope I'm not one of those thirty-something year olds who is still in a singles ward. I doubt it, but I suppose that time will tell. I'm quite content with the way things are now, and I'm not really planning on getting married anytime in the next few months, but I guess when the time is right, I'll know. Now that is a scary thought. Being married. I've never been married, or even engaged, so I'm not really sure what to expect. I assume it's like going on a mission. You have all of these ideas of what it'll be like, or what it should be like, but when it happens, it's different. Not really in a bad way, just different. At least, thats what a mission was like for me. I'm not really sure what I expected, but it turned out different than I had envisioned, whatever my vision was.
I miss Japan. Quite often truthfully. I hope to go back sometime soon, preferably with a friend. I'd like to show a lot of people Japan. Show them the big cities, and also the countryside. I think a lot of people would be surprised, and that Japan wouldn't quite fit their expectations. Perhaps someday.

I think that my hand has finally woken up. It was asleep for like 20 mins. And now, my leg is asleep. I do believe that I'm dying.

A friend of mine practically forced me to read the book "Twilight", and I must say, I have never been caused to roll my eyes so many times in one book. I don't think any other book has taken so much time to read, because I had to make myself continue and I had to pause every few paragraphs and be appalled at the ridiculousness of it all. I have to say, that will probably be the only trashy romance novel I will ever read. But at least it had vampires. Too bad no one got eaten. I apologize Mariko, I only read it so my friend would get off my back and let me be. You should be proud, I refused to read book 2 or 3, and I will continue to refuse. I still can say that I've never not finished a book I've started. If I were to do that, this would have been the book to do it for.

Since coming home from Japan, I've begin to wonder what Americans think when they see a non-Caucasian person. I mean, in Japan, if you aren't blessed with black hair, and dark eyes, they will treat you very differently, and be shocked if you speak their language. In America, only a handful of times have I been questioned whether or not I speak English, or asked what country I'm from. On these occasions, I'm always tempted to lie, especially since I'm able to speak another language. I think my favorite is when people find out that I'm half-Japanese, they ask "So is your mom or you dad Japanese?". I have to laugh because, honestly, does Spendlove sound like a Japanese family name? I get asked a lot if I'm from Hawaii, which is understandable, but I always am shocked by people who assume I'm Mexican, or of Hispanic descent. Nothing against latinos. I think the most memorable experience of this was freshman year, leaving the apartment of one of my friends. A guy from their ward was there, and I had spoked with him a few times. As I was walking down the stairs, he called out "See you later Spaniard!" I stopped when I realized he was talking to me. I turned, "What did you call me?" He was shocked "Uh... You're not from Spain?" "No" And this is where it gets even worse. From this point on, he called out several more ethnicities in the regions of central and southern America. I'm not sure he ever found out where I was from. This was the same boy who said, as my friend Tess was making her dinner. "You know Tess, someday you might be lucky enough to make me dinner". Tactful.

I don't claim to be either tactful, nor suave, but I think I'm just charmingly dumb enough to get by. I have good intentions, but I fear what I say doesn't always come out the way I intent it to. I blame Japan. My english has suffered greatly from living in Japan for two years. Really, it has. I often forget simple words, or I either believe that a word exists for a situation it doesn't exist for. There are a handful of words I wish English has that are common every-day words in Japanese. I also have forgotten idioms and proper responses. An example of this is when I drove my friend Katie to the store to pick up a few things she needed. I dropped her off at her aparment, and she thanked me for driving her. My response was "Nope...". Then she just kind of sat there and stared at me. Then she broke into laughter. I realized that you can substitute "nope" for "no problem". Unfortunately I've done this several times since then, all with Katie involved. I also have problems complimenting people. For example, if someone is picking up trash at a football game or cleaning up after an event, I have no idea how to let them know I appreciate their work. In Japanese there are several ways I could let them know, but none of them really translate over into English. I think I've gotten over my problem of calling people "it" and "that". I think. In reading books with Amanda, I have discovered that reading out loud can be much more embarrassing than I thought possible. If you just mistake the written word with similar appearance, but a vastly different meaning, you will be sure to be a hit with all that are listening.

Well, I think thats about all that is going on in my mind right now. I turned on some music, and now I can't really think of anything. I should get back to my studying. I'll be sure to write more on here, its nice to be able to see my thoughts and ponder exactly what is going on in my head.

日 々 の 生 活 - Hibi no Seikatsu